Mar. 22nd, 2012

ljfrostfire: (cranky)
I've definitely been wasting it. I wanted to get stuff done, but I've been so stressed out the last couple of months, that I just don't have it in me to be terribly productive. It doesn't help that at this point I'm feeling like I'm not getting into a PhD program this year. Kind of takes away all sense of urgency to get things done by the end of the semester. Although, when I finish the Plato class (long story that makes my brain cry tears of rage) I'm pretty sure I'll be setting all things Greek from this course on fucking fire. Part of the reason I can't get much done is because I spend so much time working on the damn Greek. One thing I know for sure, if I don't get into a PhD program this year, I'll be reapplying, but to an entirely different set of programs. With no more Greek. I just don't have what it takes to deal with Greek at the graduate level. My dyslexic brain still refuses to recognize the Greek alphabet as language, which is a real problem for graduate level work.

So that means working for a year or so. Not quite sure what to do with that. Don't know how much need there really is for Latin teachers in the local area. And moving to teach high school Latin is ... problematic. It's an expensive prospect, and I don't think I'm ready to commit to that just yet. Mostly because I know that I DO want to reapply next year. Which is harder to do if we've just blown a significant amount of money on moving. Also, loan repayment becomes a factor. Which I'm trying not to think about too much, because holy damn, do I have me some loans.

At this point, I think I'll count myself lucky if I passed the Latin exam (took it last week) and can get out of the Plato class with a good enough grade to use on my graduation stuff. Which I should be able to do. The actual Greek only accounts for about 1/4 of the grade, and that's the only part that I'm struggling with. Writing my damn thesis though ... *sigh*

If all else fails, I can work on it over summer and fall (yay for having a "grace" semester on that angle) and officially graduate in the fall. Then it'll just be a matter of sorting out PhD or long term job options.

Have I mentioned lately that I kind of hate my whole damn life this semester? Thank gods for a boyfriend with the presence of mind to keep me well stocked in chocolate covered espresso beans!


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