ljfrostfire: ($#@%&!)
[personal profile] ljfrostfire
So, last semester was terrible. The only thing I enjoyed was being TA for the baby Latin class. The ONLY thing. The class I was taking, a seminar on Plato, made me absolutely crazy and miserable. I suck at Greek. The Greek alphabet is something my dyslexic brain hates with a fiery passion. My brain refuses, categorically, to recognize it as language. I've kept taking Greek classes because they're pretty much required for Classics, and also because I'm clearly insane. I also hate philosophy. It makes me want to gauge my eyes out with a spork. And that's when I'm reading it in English. This class meant reading it in fucking Greek. And reading about philosophy, and philosophical bullshittery that I don't give a shit about, for a whole semester. It made me crazy.

Like, 2.5 months of my summer spent killing things in Diablo 3 instead of doing anything remotely productive kind of crazy. Like so stressed out I wanted cigarettes with a fierceness that was, quite frankly, completely bonkers. Especially since I've never smoked in my life. Guess I can thank mom smoking all my life for that particular craving. Crazy like, if not for teaching days, I'm pretty sure I'd have chucked it all in the bin and spent the rest of my life doing something-the-fuck-else.

I have a Latin MA exam tomorrow, and I can't be arsed to care. I need to write my thesis, and I barely have any fucks to give about it. If I fail the Latin exam (again, bleh) I'm not even sure I'd be allowed to take it again. And I just don't care. If I can just finish this damn degree, I think I may need to ... reassess my life. Again.

I can teach Latin. Hell, I enjoy it. With the master's, I can look into teaching at the junior college level. And be done with this "taking classes I don't care about because it's the next hoop I need to jump through" just to get to the next set of hoops.

I'm feeling like I need to be done with the bullshit. And the poverty of student life. I'm tired of being too busy and/or poor to actually do anything fun. I'm tired of having no social life outside of school. I'm sick to death of being so wrapped up in school that everything else is swallowed up. I wanna do steampunk stuff, and go to wacky ren fairs, and go find a gay bar, and maybe flirt with pretty girls, and read books for fun whenever the fuck I want to (instead of just during breaks between semesters), and ... I don't know ... do stuff.

Gods, color me a whiny bitch right now. One shit semester ....

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Formerly Frostfire

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